Your Subject Lines Sucks (And You Know It)

You’re writing subject lines like a nervous first date. "Hope you’re well!" "Quick question..." "Value inside!"
YAWN.
Your subscribers aren’t ignoring you. They don’t even SEE you.
Here’s how I forced 49.1% of my list to RIP open my emails (while theirs competitors are at 18%).
No theory. Just what worked.

Index: Steal This

1. The "Forced Open" Formula (It’s Stupid Simple)

2. Tool #1: My $0.27/Day "Psycho AI" (It’s Not ChatGPT)

3. 5 Subject Lines That Made People Angry (And Click)

4. The Dark Pattern 90% Miss (Hint: It’s Not Emojis)

5. How to Test Without Sending a Single Email

6. Tool Links Below

The “Forced Open” Formula

Forget "curiosity gaps." Forget "personalisation." This ain’t 2019.
Forced opens = Pain x Specificity x Selfishness.

Why it works:

• Pain: They’re losing money. Not "missing out." LOSING.

• Specificity: "$1,842/month". "52%". "14 leads".

• Selfishness: "Sarah" did it = "I’m next."

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Tool #1: My $0.27/Day “Psycho AI”

Meet Phrasee (not a sponsor, I wish lol → All links together at bottom).
It doesn’t write "subject lines." It writes emotional grenades.

How I use it:

• Feed it my worst-performing email (the one that flopped).

• Tell it: "Make this subject line sound like a parking ticket notice."

• Boom: "Final Notice: Your 33% Open Rate Violation (Action Required)" → 47.6% opens.

Real output from my account.

5 Subject Lines That Made People Angry

A/B tested these. The angrier replies = higher opens. Coincidence? Nope.

1. "Why your ‘value’ is worthless (and what to sell instead)" → 52.3% opens

2. "Your last email? Yeah, nobody cared." → 48.7% opens

3. "Stop pretending you’re busy. I know you’re scrolling cat memes." → 51.1% opens

4. "The lie you tell yourself about ‘authenticity’" → 49.8% opens

5. "If you open this, I’ll donate $1 to a cause you hate" → 57.2% opens (evil? yes. effective? hell yes)

Pattern: Attack their identity (hustler, authentic, busy). They’ll click to defend it.

The Dark Pattern 90% Miss

FOMO is dead. Urgency is Cringe.
The real juice? SCHADENFREUDE (German for "loving others’ pain").

How to bake it in:

• Step 1: Find a public fail (e.g., competitor’s cringe email).

• Step 2: Screenshot it. Blur names.

• Step 3: Subject line: "This subject line cost someone $7,400 last month"

• Open rate: ↑ 38% vs. generic "case study" subject.

(Tool hack: Use SendCheckIt.com to find REAL failing subject lines in your niche)

How to Test Without Sending a Single Mail

Don’t gamble your list. Test in 60 seconds:

1. Go to CoSchedule’s Headline Analyser (free → Links are at bottom).

2. Paste your subject line.

3. Ignore the score. Only care about 2 things:

   • Emotional Power Words (must be 3+).

   • "Uncommon" Words (must be 20%+).

4. If it’s "friendly"? Trash it. If it’s "clinical"? Burn it.

5. Your goal: Make it feel like a parking ticket or breakup text.

Example:

Btw, here is my research how I cut me 3hrs research time in 10 minutes.
Read it here:
→ How I Slashed 3-Hour Research Time to 10 Minutes (Without Breaking a Sweat)

Tool Links (No affiliate crap, just truth):

• Phrasee

• SendCheckIt

• CoSchedule Headline Analyser

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